So. Why did I stop blogging? My last post was on 3 February, 2018, just as the most intense part of my Masters degree was looming. Soon after that, I plunged into the hell of writing my dissertation, in three months, alongside a particularly bad era of my chronic pain condition, with little supervision. I sent off The Dissertation near the end of August, went to a lovely wedding, then flew out to Los Angeles for two weeks. Heaven.
It took me a while to adjust to life post-Masters degree. Learning by long distance had taken almost all my spare energy, tested me to my limits, haunted every thought and dream, and resulted in a beautiful piece of paper sent to me several months after the final hand-in, with the lovely news that I'd earned a Distinction. After all the blood, sweat and tears that brought me to this point, that fucking piece of paper is getting framed and displayed on the wall, mark my words. I learned to relax in the evening, to try and banish that niggling voice in the back of my head that says I should be doing more (I still haven't got rid of that voice).
I read more, went out with my friends without worrying about my next assignment, spent glorious weekends doing nothing at all, and my boyfriend learned for the first time what I'm like when I don't need to study every evening and weekend. That holiday in LA was especially blissful, and I basked in the novelty of doing whatever I wanted, when I wanted. Though I was admittedly more eager to explore every corner we could reach by Uber or bus, desperate to make the most of the City of Angels. Of course, I made it to the city library and The Last Bookstore, a fascinating trove of secondhand books where I picked up a hefty copy of Ursula Le Guin's short stories.
Since then, I've been applying for jobs, as I'm now qualified, pretty underpaid and definitely not being challenged enough. I have a decent job in a specialist information service, but I've wanted MORE for a long time, and the constant knockbacks and rejections from applications to new places have worn me down more than I dare admit. It's sad but I'm having to look beyond librarian jobs, even as a newly qualified librarian, because there's simply not enough out there. I'd move, but I've planted roots in Bristol - fallen desperately in love. found friends - and have decided to stay for the foreseeable.
Why is it so hard to progress in libraries? Why, after slogging to finish an MA in two years alongside my full-time job, are there so few chances to progress? I feel like my momentum's disappeared, like I've slammed to a halt just as I've achieved the magic degree which I thought would unlock a whole new level of roles.
The one thing I can do, which drives me above most things, is write. I've bought myself Neil Gaiman's writing Masterclass, which I'm working through with joy, and am thinking about what I can do with this blog. I loved writing it. My boyfriend used it as a primer to find out more about me! Now I can turn back to one of my favourite creative outlets, and chat on here to anyone who will read it.
It seems frivolous to write a blog about my privileged experiences when SO MUCH ELSE is going on in the world, but really, no one needs my commentary on the bin fire that seems to be going on. So I'll keep on doing what I'm doing, chatting about life in Bristol, my experiences, and library stuff. If you've read this far - thanks, and I hope you'll stick with me. I stopped because life got crazy and so much feel by the wayside; now I've got no excuse.
What I'm reading: Sourcery by Terry Pratchett. I'm finally working through the Discworld books thanks to the library, and I love his style. His books are part of the few that make me laugh out loud. In contrast, my TBR pile has a book about finding the good death on the top, the third book on death I've read in probably as many months. We all go through phases like this, don't we?
What I'm listening to: endless musical recordings. Heathers, Dear Evan Hansen, Waitress, and Ben Platt's new record, which is very musical theatre-ish and lovely. I'm also neck-deep in podcasts, such as Out to Lunch and David Tennant Does A Podcast With... to while away my commute
What I'm doing: Exercising. So much exercising. I went to Barrecore for several months from the start of this year but it costs an absolute fortune so I'm taking a break and doing running and spin classes instead. I have a stone or two to shift and so I'm trying to increase my fitness and work off all the chocolate I eat (particularly this past weekend, as it's the dreaded Time of the Month and I am a choc-inhaling cliché).
It took me a while to adjust to life post-Masters degree. Learning by long distance had taken almost all my spare energy, tested me to my limits, haunted every thought and dream, and resulted in a beautiful piece of paper sent to me several months after the final hand-in, with the lovely news that I'd earned a Distinction. After all the blood, sweat and tears that brought me to this point, that fucking piece of paper is getting framed and displayed on the wall, mark my words. I learned to relax in the evening, to try and banish that niggling voice in the back of my head that says I should be doing more (I still haven't got rid of that voice).
I read more, went out with my friends without worrying about my next assignment, spent glorious weekends doing nothing at all, and my boyfriend learned for the first time what I'm like when I don't need to study every evening and weekend. That holiday in LA was especially blissful, and I basked in the novelty of doing whatever I wanted, when I wanted. Though I was admittedly more eager to explore every corner we could reach by Uber or bus, desperate to make the most of the City of Angels. Of course, I made it to the city library and The Last Bookstore, a fascinating trove of secondhand books where I picked up a hefty copy of Ursula Le Guin's short stories.
Since then, I've been applying for jobs, as I'm now qualified, pretty underpaid and definitely not being challenged enough. I have a decent job in a specialist information service, but I've wanted MORE for a long time, and the constant knockbacks and rejections from applications to new places have worn me down more than I dare admit. It's sad but I'm having to look beyond librarian jobs, even as a newly qualified librarian, because there's simply not enough out there. I'd move, but I've planted roots in Bristol - fallen desperately in love. found friends - and have decided to stay for the foreseeable.
Why is it so hard to progress in libraries? Why, after slogging to finish an MA in two years alongside my full-time job, are there so few chances to progress? I feel like my momentum's disappeared, like I've slammed to a halt just as I've achieved the magic degree which I thought would unlock a whole new level of roles.
The one thing I can do, which drives me above most things, is write. I've bought myself Neil Gaiman's writing Masterclass, which I'm working through with joy, and am thinking about what I can do with this blog. I loved writing it. My boyfriend used it as a primer to find out more about me! Now I can turn back to one of my favourite creative outlets, and chat on here to anyone who will read it.
It seems frivolous to write a blog about my privileged experiences when SO MUCH ELSE is going on in the world, but really, no one needs my commentary on the bin fire that seems to be going on. So I'll keep on doing what I'm doing, chatting about life in Bristol, my experiences, and library stuff. If you've read this far - thanks, and I hope you'll stick with me. I stopped because life got crazy and so much feel by the wayside; now I've got no excuse.
What I'm reading: Sourcery by Terry Pratchett. I'm finally working through the Discworld books thanks to the library, and I love his style. His books are part of the few that make me laugh out loud. In contrast, my TBR pile has a book about finding the good death on the top, the third book on death I've read in probably as many months. We all go through phases like this, don't we?
What I'm listening to: endless musical recordings. Heathers, Dear Evan Hansen, Waitress, and Ben Platt's new record, which is very musical theatre-ish and lovely. I'm also neck-deep in podcasts, such as Out to Lunch and David Tennant Does A Podcast With... to while away my commute
What I'm doing: Exercising. So much exercising. I went to Barrecore for several months from the start of this year but it costs an absolute fortune so I'm taking a break and doing running and spin classes instead. I have a stone or two to shift and so I'm trying to increase my fitness and work off all the chocolate I eat (particularly this past weekend, as it's the dreaded Time of the Month and I am a choc-inhaling cliché).
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